Osama bin Oswald dead!
Killed by Jack Ruby in a cave in Pakistan!
President Obama responds: “I’d like to thank the American people, on behalf of the many oil companies, military contractors and Wall Street bankers…all of the patriotic Americans who have supported this war on terror for so long now, and who will be happy to know, and even celebrate in the streets, the death of that evil man, Osama Bin Laden, whose name has come to represent all that Americans fear. Now, he’s dead. Now we can rejoice, along with the thousand dead Afghani’s and thousand dead Iraqi’s who have given their lives in the cause of our corporate benefactors of this war on terrorism. And we’d like to thank, of course, those brave men and women of our armed forces who have laid down their lives for our profit and Empire Building. It’s a tribute to the men and women who have fought and died so hard for our cause. They can now rest in peace knowing that this saga has finally come to an end. The big bad Muslim boogy man is dead. Oh, but we’re not in a war against Muslims. No, we know they’ll be rejoicing Bin Laden’s demise, too. God bless you who have died for our profits. Thank you and God Bless Amerika.